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this is a christian place originally only intended for their elderly clergy btw, but they have a diversity equity inclusion statement that explicitly mentions gender identity, and despite how things are going, soooooooo

lmao one of my coworkers thought i was my sister but "turning into a guy"

okie dokie i think ive processed and decompressed enough from that first day on the job that i wanna yap about it

first off NEW CHARACTERS JUST DROPPED IN THE ENARGEIAVERSE

ANIME GUY: some zoomer whos studying economics and consumes way too much dbz and naruto and one piece and jjk. fucks with the mid 2000s sonic osts and ai voiceover parody videos. says he's basically dead outside of work and school so idk how he has the time to follow all that too

TRAIN GUY: only genuinely friendly one here, makes loud train noises whenever he passes through, wishes he were tearing trafficpoles up in philly after the eagles win. has some sort of beef with dessert lady

TIRED GUY: i hate [something about my job]. u feel me [deadname]?

DESSERT LADY: seems significantly older than most of us. keeps mistaking my sister for someone named emily. when i met her she mistook me for my sister, who she mistook for emily, and thought i was her but just starting transition to "turn into a guy" lmao

after watching lotsa training videos about dementia and shit like that, i spent most of the time following my trainer and watching him do things i won't remember how to do. i spent the next most time doing the only job i 100% understand so far, which is operating the check-in place to make sure no seniors get free meals

to do this i had to find each ones name on the resident list and deduct a meal from their plan, and to do that i had to listen to each one say their name as they came through. but they were seniors so there was a lot of slurring and me leaning over going "could you say that again" and a couple got through with free meals in the end whoops

and at one point the tired guy vanished for a reallllyyyyy long bathroom break and so i just took over and acted like i knew how to do the salads even though nobody had taught me let alone assigned me to the job, it somehow went alright even though i bonked a few salad containers against the glass barrier tryna get them through the slit to a senior. nelly furtado is my voice rn, i AM like a bird, i cant see that glass for shit

yall im resting after the second day and it was interesting, i met some new people who didn't work the last shift. first is a lady with lots of tattoos who worked the grill and second is a lady who has a cartoon network character i vaguely have imprinted somewhere in my subconsious as her phone wallpaper

cartoon lady taught me to scoop and serve the different types of slop from their heated up buckets, and to go complain to the chefs when i ran out. i like having her train me cause she seems like she knows her shit more than everybody else and seems really sweet when she isn't being loud and demanding for the job

and so far my least favorite parts of this job are:

1. sweeping and mopping at the end, humans were meant to clean normal rooms like this not bigass line kitchens and cafes

2. how much food we throw out at the end of the day. if this is normal for fast food, it's a crime against humanity

and im still salty about them throwing out the pizza before i could get to it (we're allowed to eat leftovers)

"gonna get more crackers, get more of my people" - my coworker

"you have a nice spring in your step" - random old lady

can i put quotes from irl people in my testimony section lol

i went out of breath handling a big box of cantaloupe at work, clearly i am destined to write the next proletarian anthem

no but seriously there's material here. it's crazy how my coworkers and i all got our own distinct little drops of charm while our manager people are all the most aggressively uncool white men the labs've cooked up to date. and it's always a little sad when u get done talking with one of the nice old retired ladies here only to spot all the trump stickers and knicknacks on her purse and shit and meet her annoyingly excessively rich family

the grill lady looks exactly like mama from death stranding but chubbier, and talks exactly like her but with more aave and 420 blaze it jokes and fangirling over marvel movies. i will always wipe the dishes cart when she tells me to

the one really good chef from slovakia has a "FREAKIN' AWESOME CULINARY BADASS" tshirt faintly visible under his cooking top lol, i kinda want one now but ik im not bad enough for it

i post these stories and moments out of a deep unshakeable love for humanity despite viscerally knowing better than to love it

weirdly enough im the youngest person here working the line. the manager told me he usually hired teenagers and most of these people seemed like they would be in high school (mind you ive obviously never been) but it turns out theyre all twentysomethings

one of the saddest things i observe here is that the closer a coworker is to my age, the more they're doing a bajilion different types of drugs just to keep functioning between work and school

sooo the other day at work was a day we'd all been dreading: they finally finished adding the new touchscreen ordering system to replace the usual way. it really seems like there's no good reason for it. for starters, this is a retirement home so all the cafe customers have been used to ordering face to face their whole lives, and there's no apparent accessibility improvements. maybe there's a slight efficiency improvement??? idk, not even the manager guys are all that enthusiastic about this, i hear the order came from higher-level corporate mfs who haven't ever set foot in our kitchen so yeah

WAIT YALL one of the managers has been wearing a fucking Celeste hoodie to work for multiple days. wtf does this mean

kitchen guy with baseball cap: [deadname] lift this with the rag so you don't burn yourself

me: *mumbled response*

baseball guy: cmon yell at me! i want that! that's what i like!

friendly frumpy short old lady coworker, out of nowhere: you fucking freak

going back to work today, have no idea how much ill remember about how to do shit

yall celeste guy's got the music taste of me when i was twelve lol, bumping instrumental synthpop id randomly find off youtube like magic sword and shit, takes me back

my job keeps me from getting home till after the library's closed, so i haven't been doing those nighttime walks i described before, where most my pictures came from. i miss it. guess it's time to savor the night for it's own sake, without the library to motivate me.

im starting to think i have a... um... SUPERNATURAL knack for meeting women who believe in astrology and psychics and all that type shit, all my women coworkers believe and all the women at my community college's psychology club believed back when i was involved in that

working both taking orders face to face and running around taking care of shit on the cafe line is starting to beat some social skills into my homeschooled autistic ass, as they said it would lol. i now have preprogrammed pleasantries i say really loudly to make sure people hear it!!! "have a nice day sir" from me is something id never have guessed last year