Wth does this mean?
Do I need a Ubuntu ESM license in order to install those security updates?

Honestly, it looks like a 13 year old has written this.
So much similarities so joke-websites such as hackerman.nu

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Daily reminder that UCEPROTECTL is a scam

The language use by them shows how scammy they are.

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Linux.Pizza

A instance dedicated - but not limited - to people with an interest in the GNU+Linux ecosystem and/or general tech. Sysadmins to enthusiasts, creators to movielovers - Welcome!